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Description: |
When I'm out and drinking, after a certain amount, I get this overwhelming desire to move everything on the table - placemats, coasters, cutlery, decorations, whatever - , table so that they're all squared with the table and arranged symetrically.
I start by aligning everything that's "mine" - that's the easy bit.
Then I move onto the unused stuff - this is a little harder - for example, moving the unused beermats, which might be on the opposite corner of the table, without attracting attention, so that they're all perfectly square. If there's a centrepiece, it must be exactly in the centre.
The real excitement starts when I get to the stuff that's being used by other people. The new girlfriend of your old school buddy across the table who you've never met before has a placemat that must be 10 degrees out of line and, not only that, her plate is nowhere near the center. You must somehow get it back into line and symmetrical without them noticing and still keep track of and contribute to their immensely boring conversation.
Better than sex (and a lot longer lasting).
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