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When i was 12 i got right in the middle or a natural disaster (would
take too long to explain what happened and so on, but anyway i sat down
and prayed for the first time of my life and I survived. but after that
i had a feeling that I had to pray every single night cus god had given
me another life cus i prayed for it so now he wont give me anything
else if i dont pray for it. So every night i had to do this: I started
with just holding my breath and counting to 15 (to get his attention)
then I had this whole prayer going on, where I asked for EVERYTHING
that i want and dont want to happen. it started out big taking about 15
times just to make sure i didnt forget anything, but later on when i
felt safer i shortened it down a bit taking away parts that i covered
already. I've never told anyone about this till now cus i was really
embarrassed of it. and if someone disturbed me when i was in the middle
of it I had to start over. I'm not very religious but im not an atheist
but i kept on cus I thought what ever is out there will take that part
i miss praying for away from me. this went on for i believe it was 4
years or so, then i just stopped doing it. I cant remember why but...
so now im asking, is this sane or...?
i mean i know a lot of prays at night but for a reason like this or in this kind of way? |
